You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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