Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
