She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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