This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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