it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
