clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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