if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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