I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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