it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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