Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
