I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize