I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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