what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize