playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
