Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
