I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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