lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
