it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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