You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
