what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
