i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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