You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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