he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
