it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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