Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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