distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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