I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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