I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
