Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
