She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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