Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
