what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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