Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
