Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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