apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
