I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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