is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
