Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
