Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
