Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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