Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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