Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
