Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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