i permit you to call me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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