He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Small penises have feelings too.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
