and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
