she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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