i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
