I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
