I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize