This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
