i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
