these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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