he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
