So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They have beer where we have blood.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
