I don't think brook has ever known best
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
