I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
