Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
