I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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